Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97:
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, Purported Commencement Speech(via goddess-)
dgbajnfskvdyxilzslkcvb NO NO IT WAS NOT KURT FUCKING VONNEGUT WHO WROTE THIS AWESOME PIECE OF INCREDIBLENESS
NO NO NO
SERIOUSLY IT EVEN SAYS THIS ON WIKIPEDIA IT IS NOT HARD
BUT INSTEAD WE PRETEND THAT SOME GUY WROTE IT
BECAUSE HEAVEN FORBID A WOMAN COULD WRITE SOMETHING THAT MOVES SO MANY PEOPLE AND ACTUALLY GET SOME FUCKING CREDIT FOR DOING SO
THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS
THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVEINTEHSHADOWSISTHEONLYKIND YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON GOD THIS CHEESES ME THE FUCK OFF EVERY GODDAMN TIME. i love vonnegut so much it’s unreal but CHRISSAKE.(via heatherbat)
Baz Luhrmann - Everybody’s Free
Republican legislators in Arizona are attempting to pass legislation that forces transgender people to only use public restrooms, dressing rooms and showers associated with the gender listed on their birth certificate. According to the Associated Press, conservative lawmakers are proposing the legislation in response to a human rights bill passed by the city of Phoenix which prohibits gender identity discrimination in public accommodations. (via Arizona bill would jail transgender people for using the ‘wrong’ bathroom | The Raw Story)
ugh, is there any way to petition against this? >:(
signal boost!! SIGN THAT SHIT.
5,000 more signatures to get to their goal. We can do it.
BOOST. Until then, maybe we should place porta potties around their statehouses.
What the FUCK is WRONG with Arizona these days?!
Signal boosting and signing!
Arizona is doing everything it can to be the 1950s Alabama of 2013.
Or if you want to see the video version of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUTrSG9Bapk
remember when baby spice sang about wearing a condom
remember when it took me over a decade to realize what she was singing about
remember when I never realized this until just now
i never realized it. mainly because i always listened to it in spanish
I don’t think Superwholock would be a good idea. I mean, do you really honestly truly want the writers of Doctor Who, Sherlock and Supernatural in the same room? DO YOU WANT STEVEN MOFFAT NEAR SUPERNATURAL? DO YOU? LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME YOU WANT MOFFAT NEAR SUPERNATURAL.
I dont watch supernatural, but since Moffat has done really good work with Doctor Who, i cant see where it would hurt.